I came across your site while searching for Jameson Publishing.
I was hoping to get some info about the Gnome Fonding Assoc. Do they have a website? I am and have always been extremely fond of Gnomes and I have a huge collection of various types which have mainly been gifts from friends and family over the years. I didn’t realize there was an organization devoted to this. Any information would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for your comment on my blog “Is It.” Hey, did you know you wrote something seemingly in support of Gnome Fondling? Not that there’s anything wrong with that! In fact, if you have any photos of yourself exhibiting this behavior with your own gnomes, I’d love to see them. (I think.)
Also, I have spoken to the management at Panera and they apparently have no Gnome Fondling Clubs at present but are working on a Gruyere Fondue Club sandwich
Best of luck,
p.s. what is gnome fonding exactly?
Actually, I tried to upload some photos onto your “blog” site, but apparently,
Your “blog” isn’t sophisticated enough for such high tech features…so the photos from my Gnome Fonding Cruise last year will have to be seen where they are now…in Gnome Fonding Monthly…June issue. What is Gnome Fonding you ask. If you could see these wonderful photos, you would see exactly what it is. My fellow Cruise members and I…Fonding the Gnomes. Gnomes Fonding Gnomes. And later…in my cabin…me Fonding myself.
Lovely photos…Oh what a time we had!!
My Dear Mr Haines,
Thank you for your comment. Let me ask you, do you cross international waters on these cruises of yours? You may want to check with the relevant authorities in your various ports of call with regard to your activities. Also it’s always a good idea to have plenty of potable water on hand. As well as your own quality bandages. As well as some nice pickled vegetable, such as haricorts verts. And jam.
Best of luck,
tv49d, assistant to tv43c
Dear tv49d aka assistant
Not only have I crossed international waters on “these cruises of mine” but I’ll have you know, I have even crossed national waters on several occasions. And the “relevant authorities” you speak of… Many of them of the highest rank…at the highest level…Have attended many of our evening galas as guests of honor…sitting with us at the very best table during the most anticipated Captains & Gnomes Balls. A table laden with the best you can buy off…I mean buy. Including some nice pickled haricot vert…and jam.
Dear Mr Haines,
It has come to my attention that certain irregularities may be recurring on a somewhat regular basis. According to my crew, passengers have complained of certain noise disturbances as well as unusual odors (possibly from the burning of some ancient Norwegian underwear in some sort of ceremony) emitting from your cabin: generally between the hours of 9:49 a.m to 9:58 a.m.
We wish to bring a superior and memorable cruise experience to all our passengers, in addition to a safe and secure one. I hope I can count on you to help us in this endeavor. Unless of course there’s been some misunderstanding or you are an ungodly degenerate miscreant.
Please let me know if I can be of service in any way
Fred “Super Pleats” Putley
The SS RoyalRoyalton
Rhapsody Waves Cruise Lines
p.s. Are you hoarding jam?
Putley baby…I mean First Cadet Putley. I know now why they call you “Super Pleats”. 😉 Nod nod wink wink say no more! Ah yes…the noises. How unusual that you happen to pinpoint the precise time. Could that possibly be because…The “noises” were emanating…from YOU my dear? Degenerate miscreant indeed! And we know you can be of service … wink wink say no more.
I belong to the Genome Fondling Association where we have fun combining DNA to form chocolate flavored strawberries!
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