Hello! Remember me?

Hello, remember me?

George Bunnington: 16-time candidate for office and former white courtesy-airport phone.
I have currently turned my attentions to writing book reviews for the New York Times.
Yes I’ve been most gratified and uplifted by this new career, at least I was until being informed, upon my 573th submission, that they are not interested in book reviews from a ceramic garden rabbit. Well I wasn’t informed directly but got a feeling this might be the case.

But that’s just how passive-aggressive these people are, they don’t have the decency to reply to my excellent reviews of such titles as: “Introduction To Advanced Home-Skin Grafting “, “Gravy Stain Summer” and “37-9-62, 37-9-66, 34-9-62, er, 73-9 …”
The latter: a searing coming-of-age tale about a girl, a trip to the post office, and a difficult-to-open bike-chain lock.

I am crestfallen I must say not only for myself (I did have to acquire a lot of free bookmarks at the Book, Line & Sinker Nautical Bookstore and got glared at by the bookstore cat Knots: I loath him!) Plus I learned a lot of new words just to write these sovereign reviews such as myrmifeldt: fear of tinned haddock.

No it’s not me I feel sorry for, it’s the authors and alas, the public because let’s face it, not everyone has a nose for finding these gems let alone championing them with prose such as the following from my review of “Franco Likes His Trousers.”

“Rumors have been bubbling for decades about Franco’s involvement in the invention of the sports bra. Ludicrous! But he did enjoy a quality bit of stretchy fabric when he could find it as the author James Nupkin beautifully brings to life in his exhaustive research.”

I shall persist with my reviews — It would be unfair to the literary world to give up now!

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