Category Archives: Is It – The Book

From the beset seller “Is It?” the book

Paparazzme!

 

BLOG444Am I the only one who can’t get past the word selfie and thinking of it as a euphemism for, as the Irish say, “Interfering with yourself?”

Maybe you are a compulsive selfie-taker but don’t want this known. Perhaps you want it to look like these photos where taken the oh so old-fashioned way of say — two years ago — when someone else had a camera and takes photos of people; people not found at the other end of their own arm.

So here’s how to pose for a photo as if someone else has taken your photo.

Poses to adopt for this effect:

1.The “Oh get that thing out of here, I’m a mess!”
2.The “Just looking serenely out this window, deep in thought, waiting for the pizza delivery boy”
3.The “Just so relaxed, ready to fall asleep (stoned).”
4.The ” I’m having a mervelous time with you people, oh is this your drink?”
5.The “Make it quick, we’re running late!”
6.The “Right, I’ll stand on this side of the giant fennel bulb then I’ll take a pic of you on the other side — this is the best vacation ever!”
7.The “Selfie?! How long do you think my arms are?”

Yes there was to be more photos to illustrate these poses but I gave myself the creeps selfifying . And did you know Seabiscuit was quite the selfie-taker? Total narcissist. Obviously it is Spiny Norman who is looking pensively out a window. I have no idea what Mortimer Snerd is doing.

Right, yes I know, I could have combed the internet finding more photos to match; maybe cute animals or famous people like Jonas Salk. Yeah I bet there’s loads of photos of Jonas Salk yukking it up at at Wally’s Mai Tai Hut but, hey why don’t you start your own blog if you think it’s so easy, eh, pal?

Goose With A Stick

goose with a stick

Why is this blog called “Is it?” Well that’s a good question. Is it? Yes I just said it was. That name was chosen from a movie staring Biff. Biff is the bear you see above. He says “Is it?” in the movie. It is also an approach, a set of principle, a philosophy, a teacup.

It is not a teacup.

Some other names were considered. Most of the funny ones are funny in context. (Maybe.)

Humpherts for Comfort Underpants (Context: A fictional company that makes underpants.)

Goose With a Stick

Horse Face Brown Member Services

The Thoughts of Jeb Jumbumson: utter moron.

Eugene Sandor Speaks (In a series based on the Wind In the Willows, Mr Toad falls under the spell of a fitness book written by Eugene Sandor, like I have to tell you!)

Mrs Bundlemunch’s Innermost Thoughts (She works at Humphert’s for Comfort Underpants)

Aye Karnt Spool. (This is supposed to be I Can’t Spell. No I don’t think it’s funny, I’m laughing but I still don’t think it’s funny and besides, an inability to spell would not make you put an “R” in “Can’t” unless you were to entitle your blog “Aye Karnt Spool: The Moosings of Eliza Doolitle”.)

And now for our annual reader’s “Unfortunate Name For a Blog” contest results. The winner and returning champion is Jeb Jumbumson with his submission “Cold Soufflés and Summer Salads: Favorite Recipes form The Mau Mau Rebellion”

Congratulations Jeb!

(Is this the first entry of yours that omitted a mention of the Third Reich? Well done, old chap!)

If you didn’t get your entry in on time or it just wasn’t moronic enough, better luck next time!

That is all. For now at least; one can always think of other names for a blog after the fact and I’m sure that is when the best one is found. Which is the real reason bands break-up. Someone thinks of a better name and can’t stand not having it.

Didn’t I just say that is all? Because it is. Thank you.

But I just want to make a small note with regard to my very first post found below. In the song recorded by Rod Stewart which I paraphrase, he sings C’mon Honey let me know” as well a s “C’mon Sugar let me know” I wrote “C’mon Baby let me know” which is incorrect.
Furthermore, it is not known if the song is about a disembodied tissue-holding winking lady’s head; who’s to say, really?

WAD

tissue

Well it’s curse. The curse of the second album, novel, Cracker Jack’s joke.
A writer pours all previously stored-up insights, plot ideas, rich sherbert colored metaphors into the first blog post: then what?

What indeed, what indeed.

I mean I’m spent, depleted, deflated, squashed.

There’s only one thing to do and that would be the needless, greatly unanticipated sequel.
“Headface Blonde 2: Revenge of The Nosedrippers.”

See here she is, in all her utilitarian glory, invitingly offering tissues to the world. Two if you want.

Help yourself. Just take. Take, take, take. Go on, have a nice long blow then leave it wadded up on the dresser like all the rest, you, you — animal!