Category Archives: BUNNINGTON

Mrs Tyoad

Good Evening. George Bunnington here. I don’t know if you are able to see me but after many years of fruitless campaigning and the determination and the steadfastness of my campaign manager Mrs Toad, I was duly elected the M.P. for Sudbury South (Conservative & Unionist) and took my seat on the back benches ready to begin work for my constituents. Can you see me? No? I’m on the right next to Bunty Moffatt.

It’s a bit of a squeeze and I’m a little perturbed regarding the fact that I can’t see a thing because of Sir Farquar Pennington-Dripfeed, a 22 stone bundle of opinions and chum of Tubby Hayhead Buffoon Boris Johnson our Prime Minister. Can you see me yet? I have a white three piece on. Actually it’s a four piece but I don’t often use the top hat.

You will remember that the last time I stood for parliament I was a Liberal Democrat. Not so this time. Having a 13 year old school newspaper editor leading the party just didn’t do it for me. I dabbled with the Brexit Party for three minutes and couldn’t stand having a leader whose last name rhymed with somewhere I leave my car to get serviced, then the Labour Party tempted me with their vow to ban rabbit hunting, good stuff but Jeremy Bernard Corbyn had about as much charisma as a broken toaster so who was left? Scottish Nationalist? Did I want Scotland to leave the Union? I mused and mused and mused and mused. Still musing actually.

But then of course the media put their spoon in the custard talking about Getting Brexit Done and Blubbering Boris negotiating a deal which was gleefully accepted by the hordes of the E.U foreign upstarts. They love the deal. Bugger me. Of course you can get a deal with that lot if you give them everything they want, a la Boris. And then I thought to myself, self I said, who cares?

The British Public had just discovered the word democracy and decided to use it, not knowing what they were talking about, on every radio talk show that they could pretend to be intelligent on. The will of the people, blah, blah, blah. I was violently sick all over my burrow. However as old Haystack head Johnson wouldn’t stop getting Brexit done and the mindless minions were swamping the streets, a la Princess Di’s Funeral, I opted for the Tories. And so here I am, getting Brexit done and nursing a sore arse from these benches.

And now some sad news. My Campaign Manager Mrs Tyoad (pronounced Tyoad as in Toad but with a y after the t) passed away in August of 2019. This was particularly sad news as her efforts to finally getting me elected were stellar. Her talents were copious: Funny (Ha Ha), witty, intelligent, determined, always a smile on her face, dogged in adversity, caring, selfless, perceptive, and …….I could go on but it would cause me to pause and whip out my handkerchief. And as for fundraising she was outstanding. (See photo below of our ultra successful Jumble Sale in which we gathered enough funds to pay for some posters telling the good people of Sudbury South to vote for me.)

And so, in the spirit of “Keep Calm and Carry on” we do. Remember the Blitz, Vera Lynne, Good old Winnie (Churchill not the Pooh), Stirling Moss, Twiggy, David Beckham and Lord Lucan. She will be sorely missed not only by myself but all who were lucky to have enjoyed her company over the years. As Edna Ferber once said of her “And I thought I was talented. Well. Nothing compared to Mrs Tyoad”. And I think that said it all.

This column will be continued by her much less talented husband Mr Tyoad. Gawd help us and Let’s Get Weetabix Done”

Hello! Remember me?

Hello, remember me?

George Bunnington: 16-time candidate for office and former white courtesy-airport phone.
I have currently turned my attentions to writing book reviews for the New York Times.
Yes I’ve been most gratified and uplifted by this new career, at least I was until being informed, upon my 573th submission, that they are not interested in book reviews from a ceramic garden rabbit. Well I wasn’t informed directly but got a feeling this might be the case.

But that’s just how passive-aggressive these people are, they don’t have the decency to reply to my excellent reviews of such titles as: “Introduction To Advanced Home-Skin Grafting “, “Gravy Stain Summer” and “37-9-62, 37-9-66, 34-9-62, er, 73-9 …”
The latter: a searing coming-of-age tale about a girl, a trip to the post office, and a difficult-to-open bike-chain lock.
Continue reading Hello! Remember me?

Grace Slick to the White Courtesy Rabbit please!

Following my 16 unsuccessful bids to obtain a seat in Parliament representing Sudbury South, I was forced to take a position as a White Courtesy Rabbit at The Bangalore Airport. This was a very low point for me.
In addition to the tedium of having people talk into my ear excitedly, the phone cord would tangle-up in my tail in a most unsettling fashion.

It was at this time I began working on the plot of what was to become my first brilliant novel “Charing Cross Road — Hurry — Not Quite — Almost — Nearly — After this lorry — Oops, Go back”

It was wildly successful — in certain circles. And I went on to enjoy notoriety and acclaim yet I never quite lost the political bug as it were; the itch, the scratch, the tickily feeling all over.

So I returned to the campaign trail!

(to be continued… )

Meet George Bunnington

Meet George Bunnington!

Your Labour candidate for parliament.

Below are George’s various slogans used in his 16-unsuccessful-runs for office in Sudbury South.

1940 I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and fake coins with my face on them!
Vote Bunnington!

1943 Victory In Europe, Bunnington In Vegetation
George Bunnington For The Win!

1945 Peace for Britain, Prosperity With Bunnington
Vote Labour This November!

1947 If I Could Just Get In!
For The Love of God
Vote Bunnington!

1948 (By-election due to death of incumbent, Sir Purnup Hoggle)
Hustings Ho!
Bunnington In ’48!

He’s Back For Britain
Labour Sudbury South Bunnington

Vote For Me?
George Bunnington?

Yes A Ceramic Rabbit, But Have You Seen The Other Guy?
George Bunnington, MP For Sudbury South

Here’s A Photo Of An Old Poster; I’m Out Of Money
Bunnington Now!

New Hope For A New Decade
George Bunnington For SS!

Even Rabbits Get Tired of Running
Could Be You’re Last Chance: Bunnington!

Wish me Luck!
Buoyant With Bunnington

Not Your Father’s Bunnington
Nor His Father’s Either, Apparently

Why Indeed?
Labour’s Most Seasoned Candidate

Aw, C’mon!
Bunnington, Ear ‘e Is Again!

Keeping Delusion Alive in ’75!
George For Today’s Tomorrow or Tomorrow’s Today or..
Oh pfff!