Category Archives: Whatever!

I Couldn’t Possibly Comment…

Dear NPR,

I have recently learned of the closing of the comments section on I also understand with this exit go all previous comments.
I left but one or two contributions over the years but feel certain they were of the most edifying variety. I feel I would benefit imeasureably from reading them again before they vanish; mIght I ask for assistance in locating them?
They may be found doing a search containing the following key words and phrases:

Volkischer Beobacter
Bike chain-scented candle
Vocal hangnail
Squidly Do-Right
Charred vacuum cleaner bags
Ira Flato souund dru k
Popcorn balls

Thank you ever so much.



I’m not one to plan ahead for the holidays but I have been swilling Red Bull, Ritalin, and mega-mocha chip mini-muffin smoothies in anticipation of live tweeting QVC’s Twelve Days of Denim.

I just hope the kick-off features The Tumminator Super-Stretch 2000s!

Oh and QVC is the perfect partner for Twitter as they only say pant, never pants.

“This is a fantastic pant!”
“And you’ll find, this pant is a deep winter wheat gold more than a weathered barley.”

Continue reading Pant


Dear Abby,

I have Gnometoe. I was born with a curled-up yellow ceramic clog on each foot. Do you think anyone could ever love me? I get good grades and am considered popular at Junior Rotary functions.

Please help.
Curly-toed in Toledo.