Miss Otis regrets she is unable to come today.
Miss Otis regrets she feels slightly over-warm today.
Miss Otis regrets she must inform you that she thinks you’re bat shit for holding your wedding/garden party/emergency trip to the hospital with a broken intermediate cuneiform bone on such a beastly-hot, miserable day.
Miss Otis regrets she is soup.
Note: This is a photo of Dorothy Parker. In looking for an image for this post, I entered “Grumpy woman from the 1920s”; “Melancholy 1920s,1930s women”: “Flapper looking out window” and so on. This was the best one as far as looking like someone who appears to not want to go out — albeit is a bit dressed-up for staying in. And a terrific photo, anyway.
Obviously, I want this blog to be timeless and that is why I keep to the non-perishable, classic subjects such as Georgy Girl. And perennial works of art like the film Green Dolphin Street. Topical, trendy pop culture references are not for me. No sir! But I shall make an exception based on the funny thought I believe I thought yesterday.
It was the following.
They came for Dr Oz and I said nothing. Okay, not so, I said — “Please come for Dr Phil as well.”
If you are reading this, one-hundred and thirty-seven-years from now, I shall try and explain who these people are.
Hoggy Carmichael was slapping a couple of Van Cliburn-arpeggios to the end of his rendering of (Hey Did You Happen To See?) The Most Beautiful Girl In The World; when suddenly, unbeknownst to Hoggy and Niels (his avian metronome) Jumboctopus, the enormous-underpant drying apparatus became un-tethered from a breadfruit tree and commenced sailing upon a cross-wind — straight for them!!!
We’re talking about Flappersons: a classification of billowy foundation wear in soft turquoise, petal pink and the ever popular robin’s egg blue.
I’m not saying I’ll be posting pictures (video) of giant drawers waving gaily in the air; but I am saying I have the technology to do so, because I have this Jumboctopus. Continue reading Jumboctopus